Life is really funny sometimes. But not funny at all.
I love writing so much, but in the light of day I am finding it hard to even construct sentences verbally the past few days. Honestly I want to move forward but I don't know what to do. What do you write when writing doesn't feel right?
'Lipstick Gossip' has always been about the things I love like fashion, music, entertainment, interviews - everything. I had plans and ideas for blogs but right now I don't feel like talking about polka dots or dressing eco-friendly. I don't want to be fake or pretend everything is okay. I never have used this blog as a personal channel to say anything morbid or serious. I thought I would be so ecstatic when my blog got 20,000 reads but in the past 2 days I don't really feel anything.
The other day my house went on fire and everything has been a blur since. All six people in the house got out fairly unscathed (thank god).
It was surreal to stand back and watch everything go up in flames. There is always this 'hollywood' idea of people grabbing things on their way out of the house like iphones, teddies, guitars whatever. It didn't even cross my mind.
Before the fire I was sitting upstairs in my house literally flying on cloud 9, I had interviewed at the Strawberry Fest the weekend before and I had felt so excited about the interviews I had gotten.
I have just finished college so I have been eager to keep working as much as I can as a blogger and freelance journalist. I had headphones on editing the interviews when the fire started, and if someone hadn't have made me move I know I wouldn't have.
Fire alarms really do save lives. Two went off in the upstairs corridor. I finally realized it wasn't a false alarm and we were in trouble. The smoke was dense and thick and smothering. The flames were blazing and licking the walls downstairs. I will never forget the image of people trying to put it out and everyone being hysterical.
I will never so much as want to light a candle again. I really thought we weren't going to be okay. Looking at the house yesterday it is a miracle we did. The smell permeates everything, It clings to your skin and hair taunting and reminding you, it is horrible.
It's not even the items you would expect you would be devastated about losing. Me and my two sisters were so upset over a mug. A big white Starbucks mug with a camel on the front from holidays we searched for frantically in the rubble. What weirdos. My sister Jade found a letter she wrote to Leonardo Di Caprio when she was twelve assuring him that they were soulmates and she was 'in love with him' which we all had a bit of a well needed laugh about. The not-funny jokes kind of help. The ones that are funny because they aren't - such as nice smoky eye make up blah blah blah. I guess if you don't laugh you'll cry.
It feels sad to lose your house but at the same time I count myself lucky. I could have lost my boyfriend, or my family. I lost everything but nothing at all in the grand scheme of things.
I want to thank all the kind neighbour's, family and friends who gave me and the girls shoes when we had none on our feet, and who all continue to be so kind and generous to all my family. There are some people out there who would give you the clothes off their back. In times of crisis many people show so much generosity it is unbelievable.