|Friends with an ex - fact or fable? Is it possible?|
Mutual respect, civility, loyalty, a sense of friendship... these things are qualities of a good pet! Also..... they are a recipe for getting along post break- up - but here's the problem - during a break up a lot of the time neither party has their best face on. Due to a lack of good behaviour the idea of a former couple being friends is sadly out of reach. As the famous author Elizabeth Gilbert has assessed : “Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.” When I'm talking break-ups I'm not just talking about your romantic unions - the loss of a platonic relationship or serious fall out with a family member can be just as distressing - If not more so.
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
But the most important thing to do is open your eyes. Appreciate who appreciates you in every kind of relationship that you have. And to put a new spin on the cliche but there is plenty more fish in the sea... So go swimming;) In the long run focus on your happiness, petty hear'say is awkward after a fall out but being the bigger person is not just the honorable route - it's the best one. Everyone will have their opinions and notions but leave them to it. Have no regrets, because you are officially toughened up. Any break up is tough but regardless of whether it was you or your then partner or friend that closed the curtains it prepares you for something bigger and better. The former relationship was the test run for the real thing.
As John Lennon said :
Love is just around the corner. No matter what form it may take.
I'd bet my last rolo on it.